First Post

What are you supposed to say in a first blog post?

I'm terrible at decision-making. I find everything in life a baffling ordeal. I have a helluva time expressing myself properly. I am extremely dull. I will probably post infrequently at best and be torn to pieces by the wise blogger owls (or Wiblowls if you will) of the internet should they swoop by looking for ... internet .. mice?

I have learned it's best that I don't go about making bold pronouncements on what I'm going to be doing in the future as I am incurably lazy, fickle and easily distrac ooh look a bee. So this may be the only post I ever write. Or I'll spend a fortnight obsessively blogging my every thought before realising even I don't give a shit about what I'm thinking and ooh look a bee. I can, though, confidently predict that there will be Lolcats. Mostly, however, I am imagining that this blog will simply act as some sort of half-arsed echoing chamber for other more awesomer bloggers. But not twitterers. Do you hear me twitterers? CAN you hear me above all that tweeting? Your brevity sickens me.

"But Sonofajoiner!" cry the adoring hoardes, "why start a blog now? Haven't you heard of twitter?"

I have opinions. Angry ones. Poorly reasoned, knee-jerk, astoundingly ignorant opinions that definitely take up more than 140 characters. Mostly about TV. But also other things. And my Life Partner is sick of listening to me yelling them at Jon Snow and the one who sounds like Moss off the IT Crowd and all the other (mostly channel 4) news-harbingers who I'm assured apparently cannot hear me. I could go into the streets clutching a bottle of White Lightening to shout impotently about my fundamental objections to everything at passing traffic, but I imagine the government is probably working on a law to prohibit that very thing even as we .. er .. speak sort of. So here I am. Still clutching the White Lightening, only inside, and yelling impotently at you, you lucky, lucky people.