Friday 29 April 2011

Sad Birthday

And the rant begins.

I'm a Tarvuist. There I've said it. I follow the teachings of the prophet Tarvu & the Tarvunty is my bible Tarvunty. I prize orange food highly & enjoy reading about irrigation. The Tarvunty wisely tells us that there are two universes; Universe A &, the rather bafflingly monikered, Universe B. We, of course, live in Universe B.
Except today. Despite definitely going to bed in Universe B, today I appear to have woken up inside Universe A. It's the only thing I can think of that explains the bizarre place I find myself in. See, rather disappointingly, Universe A appears to be stuffed to bursting with forelock tugging mentals who believe it to be both wise & appropriate to throw union flag decked parties to 'celebrate' the marriage of 2 total strangers who think nothing of taking your money to pay for their gaudy extravaganza but will have the police shoot you dead if you come anywhere near them (although the source for that whole 'police shoot-to-kill' policy is The Express. So. You know. Use your own judgment there).
I literally do not have the words to describe the bewilderment I feel at the complete lack of any sense of proportion on the part of the media who have gone on & on & on about a couple of people getting married in the breathlessly excited tones of a telephone sex pest, (whilst studiously ignoring a riot going on in Bristol) as well as at the apparent lack of any intelligence on the part of vast swathes of the UK population.
And whilst the weirdos in Universe A are waving their flags and dressing their infant daughters as Disney princesses (& I could spit a gallon of bile on that subject alone), the British police are jollying about the place pre-emptively arresting people deemed to have 'subversive' political opinions. And then there's the whole 'we're-totally-in-this-together-we-promise-heh-heh-heh' austerity bullshit where the poorest British children of Universe B must forgo a couple of free books because the Britain of Universe B is stony broke. But a few million quid for a couple of rich kids to yoke themselves together til the inevitable phone sex scandal for life could be found down the back of the governments sofa, no problem.

I'm almost as angrily incoherent about it all as this guy.

Oh, & today was my birthday. And a fairly miserable one it was too. Thanks Universe A. I'll be choosing my novelty religions with more care in future.