Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

What? It could be New Year somewhere. China? Venus, maybe. What are you, racist against Venusians?

So, as I say, Happy New Year. And fuck you 2010. You were a truly psychotic prick of a year. Who knew, for example, the earth could quake so much, and so often? Or that Iceland, ironically, had quite so much fire underneath it. 2010, that's who. And 2010 just couldn't keep it to himself could he? The bastard.
And there were the government decimating plane crashes, and some explosions, and more explosions, and more explosions, and the bloody old man pope popped in to moan on about the sort of things old men tend to moan about, and Ireland started giving away all it's cheese, and Greece something something the euro and Germany was all like, Oi Greece something something don't make me come over there, and some Israeli soldiers went sailing, and there was all the usual flood, famine, war and disease but turned up to eleven. Oh, and of course, 2010 allowed the fucking Tories, and their airbrushed overlord, to win the general election despite the fact that more people voted against them than for them, and have set about selling off the country with unabandoned glee. And everywhere you looked, 2010 kept shoving footage and pictures of a creepy Australian egomaniac in front of you until you just wished Flanders was dead 2010 would hurry up, finish the job and wipe every last one of us out in a quick and legally binding fashion. That'd have been one in the eye for the Mayans!

But also, 2010 seemed to have it in for me personally. Well, not exactly 'have it in for me personally'. More sort of 'seemed determined to annoy, inconvenience, impoverish and upset me and those dear to me for no damn good reason, and at every opportunity because 2010 was a complete, ball-aching, bastard'.
2010 had it all, from repeated expensive car repairs, to making all our hot water piss out of an overflow pipe for 2 weeks before anybody noticed resulting in huge water and energy bills. It featured death, and near death. It doled out illness in quantities the likes of which I had never seen before. It dished out accidents and serious falls, divorces and job losses, nervous breakdowns and paralyzing depression.
So, yeah. I'm not sorry to see the back of that massive turd.

And 2011? I'm onto you mate.