..then I took an arrow to the enjoyment centre of my brain

Here are a thing I enjoyed in 2011

Game of the Year - Pheasant.

A-ha-ha-ha.

But seriously.

Game of the Year - There's this game my 2 year old niece made up where we sit by the back door and scan the skies during daylight hours, looking for the moon. Should we be lucky enough to see it we have to shake our fists at it furiously and yell 'clear off you pesky moon'. We do this until the earth has spent enough hours turning away from said moon (quite possibly in disgust) that it disappears from view OR one of us (me) is asleep. There is also a slightly more complicated version of this game that requires me to purchase and then don various items of invisible space clothing first so I can go up into space to bust the moon right in its chops but the invisible equipment I am required to purchase from my niece is prohibitively expensive.

Anyway, the point is that playing this repetitive and strangely exhausting game with a toddler for hours and hours on end is still a more fun, more satisfying and less disappointing experience than playing any portion of Skyrim for any length of time whatsoever.
So, to reiterate, the 'shouting violent, if impotent, threats at an indifferent celestial body' game that sprang from the still developing brain of a tiny child is my pick for game of the year. And not Skyrim.

I like lame stuff & I cannot lie

It's that time of year isn't it? You know, when people start telling you all the stuff they liked about the last 12 months?
They make lists of all the awesome music they've listened to, ranked according to how cool it makes them sound. Or they outline all the films they've inexplicably been able to afford to go to the cinema to watch in these new dogfood-for-dinner times (I mean, it's like, what, at least £500 a ticket these days. Some people. Cuh.)
And you read the lists and think about your own year & go, "what in buggery fuck have I been doing with my life"? And then, in your 1st world despair, you drink all the advocaat and eat all the cheese footballs you possess and after the extravagant vomiting has ended you say, "Fuck it. Imma make my own list. With blackjack & hookers". And then you just make some lists because you wouldn't know where to start with the casino/brothel portion of the project.

I like making lists.

Here is a needlessly aggressive list.

TOP TEN SONGS MY IPOD SAYS I HAVE LISTENED TO THE MOST THIS YEAR

According to the playcount in i-tunes these are the songs my ipod claims I have listened to more than any other this year. Pencils ready.

1. Saro - Samamidon (82 plays)

The. Most. Beautiful. Song. Ever. I cried a little when I first heard it because I had no other way of articulating the happysadterror it made me feel for which there is probably a German word. You can stick your Robbie Williams Angels balls up your clearly demented backside.

2. Hold Yuh (Major Lazer Remix) - Gyptian (79 plays)

Yeah, so, I sometimes like to jerk about to terrible dance music when everyone's gone to bed. What of it?

3. Days Of Our Lives - Restless People (72 plays)
See point 2. Shut up.

4. Nellie The Elephant - Mandy Miller (63 plays)

Now. You may be expecting some sort of explanation at this point. But that would only encourage you.

5. Generator 1st Floor - Freelance Whales (62 plays)

It must be obvious to you at this juncture that I get all my music recommendations from Hype Machine.

6. Strictly Game - Harlem Shakes (60 plays)

"This will be a better year" they said. No. No it won't.

7. Big Casino - Jimmy Eat World (60 plays)

I am as baffled as you are.

8. BTSTU - Jai Paul (57 plays)

Just leave it, yeah?

9. Stop The Cavalry - Jona Lewie (54 plays)

And it's not even fucking christmas. Sarah Palin aint got nothing on my maverickicity.

10. Bye Bye Bye - School Of Seven Bells (48 plays)

Listen carefully and you'll notice that there are actually 4 'Byes' used in the song chorus itself. What's that all about?

Now. I'm not saying my i-pod's a lying scumbag or anything like that. Except my i-pod is quite obviously a lying scumbag. Which will bring us to another list any minute day now. Soon. Possibly. Definitely before 2012 the heat death of the universe. If I have time.