Don't Look Up

Oh, Metropolitan scuffers, why do you want us to hate and fear each other so?


So looking at CCTV cameras, perhaps simply in forlorn wonder at the sheer number of the fucking things these days, could now be enough to get you brought to the attention of the bizzies, intimately acquainted with the inside of a Paddington Green cell and charged with committing the allegedly bonafide terrorist act of looking at something that is, in turn, looking at you.
This poster in particular pissed the living daylights out of me. It depicts a busy street with smiling white people in the foreground. A family is prominently positioned in the centre of the image. Nice use of children to prop up your argument there knacker. And looming over this cheery scene is a big black cctv camera. You see it there, near where all the brown people are loitering?
You must realise of course that this sort of seemingly entirely normal activity is indeed how the 9/11 conspirators and the London bombers got started don't you? Yep, those murderous fuckfaces started off as trainspotters and then worked their way methodically through the ranks of 'CCTV Camera Studier' and 'Tourist attraction Photographer' (now an obsolete course I believe, having been replaced with 'Google Street Map Proficiency'), right up to 'Using Facebook to Inform Your Friends in Impenetrable Teenage Vernacular of Your Intention to Kill the Infidel'. It's a story we're all too familiar with.

And what about the words? Something like...

A bomb won't go off here and kill all the widdle kiddiwinks because some twat saw our scaremongering poster campaign and is now sufficiently terrified of all other human beings that he felt compelled to waste Knackers time reporting that bearded man over there who removed his eyes from the pavement for a few moments to contemplate the sky and the metaphorical freedom it offers in the general vicinity of a cctv camera because the fact is that there is a fucking camera every 2 paces along every single street you happen to walk down and, therefore, it is almost impossible not to look at the bastard things. No. The bomb went off somewhere else instead.

Or something along those lines. I may be exaggerating. Being over the age of 27, my mind is pretty unreliable.

I think the police want to be careful here you know. It would seem that they're giving away all their best terrorist tracking secrets to the public with this poster campaign. I've totally got the hang of it.
"I don't like the looks of that fellow over there. He has long hair/black skin/a hilarious beard/a boyfriend/youthful ideals/an air of wistful melancholy/brown skin/a hood and he is doing something that has really no connection to terrorism at all. Best get the armed police onto him right away."
I mean, terrorist spotting is apparently so simple that even a lowly shop assistant can now spot a nasty bad man at 30 paces. More importantly, eventually we'll all be so good at averting terrapocalypse ourselves we won't need the scuffers at all anymore.